Friday, February 4, 2011

Dear Santa,

I know it's a little bit early this year, but I have just finished throwing a bunch of crap away organizing the play room, and I know exactly where I want to go with this year's list.  What, you say, don't I let the kiddos create their own wish list of wants and NEEDS to you every year? Well, first of all, Santa, it may surprise you to know, given the skills of your elfish North Pole co-inhabitants,  that the little beings in this house cannot read or write.  Therefore the task of list-editing falls directly on my already way too burdened shoulders.  Second of all, I am no fool, Santa.  I know exactly what I do and do not want to be forced to endure with mind-numbing repetition play with my children, so I tend to use the power of suggestion as I guide their choices.

But this year I think I am going to work in reverse. It is way to early to know what over-priced, poorly manufactured box of plastic and chipboard will be flying off the North Pole shelves come Christmastime, so I think I will just tell you want we DON'T want this year.

On the list of No Thank You's this year:

Any sort of choking size piece of paraphernalia for the Barbie Nightmare Tower. We especially don't need any more of the fantastic 5 piece dinner place settings. Barbie and the gang can make do with the 2 forks, 1 knife, 1 saucer and 2 plates that we can still find.

Riding toys.  We do not live on a 20 acre piece of property nor do we have 10 kids, which is what we would need to be able to use all of the bikes/scooters/ride-on toys that we have here already on a regular basis.

Stuffed animals.  I know that every single one of the Wonder Pets is freaking adorable and every kid should HAVE THEM ALL, but really, we have more fake fur here than a Paris runway. I already donated over 50 stuffed animals to charity last year (That was no easy task, by the way.  Apparently, most charities don't want the things either!)

Fake food.  Here again, we are well stocked. Now, REAL food? Absofutely!  Have you seen the price of groceries lately?  I am not too proud to beg, Santa. If you are worried about the perishable stuff, then a Giant gift card is fine too.

Retro-style toys.  These are popping up all over to bring back our fond childhood memories - Fisher Price Record Player, Spirograph, Lite Brite.  Unfortunately, the lame attempt to recreate these classics is turing out cheaply made copies that just aren't the same.

Did I mention the Barbie stuff?  Sweet Hubby just wanted me to be sure. He also wanted to stress that none of the two dozen Barbies that live here need any more hot pants, mini skirts or FMe boots.

So I hope this gives you a place to start, Santa.  Even with Christmas so far off (and many months left to lose the rest of the Barbie dinnerware), we are looking forward to a happy and healthy holiday, enjoying the company of family and friends. Maybe this year will be the one where we can really focus on the true meaning of the holiday and not worry so much about material goods.  I think now is as good a time as any to start!

Enjoy your vacation and see you at the mall in September!!


  1. On our "no, thanks" list you will find all non-washable art supplies like crayons, markers, and paints.
    Last year, I used the power of suggestion to convince my son to ask for all the things that Santa already found on sale and hid in our closet in September.

  2. I hope the power of suggestion works. I tried that on my son last Christmas. He NEEDED the Lightening McQueen monster truck jam. He NEEDED it. Come Christmas morning and it wasn't there because it didn't go on the list to Santa, he was happy, but decided Santa must be bringing it next year. Luckily, his aunt had talked to Santa and told him she was buying the monster truck jam. Where is it now? Sitting on a shelf, not played with in a month! (Did I mention he got it on New Year's Eve?) Good luck!


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