Parenting for the Complete Klutz

A bloggy friend and former classmate of mine recently wrote about how a little humiliation is actually good for the soul, and helps you keep things in perspective. She is a great writer, so you should read her entire post here, but in the spirit of her sentiment, I thought I would share my day's humiliating story.

As I get older (and perhaps not so svelte), I find myself more and more clumsy. Yesterday, however, my complete lack of grace and coordination was at an all time high.

I was at the preschool to pick up Little Diva as usual. The regular group of moms were assembled in the gymnasium waiting for our minions to be released. I spotted Little Diva prancing toward me with a big hug (which I welcomed willingly, because it is so much better than the indifference that sometimes comes along with being a teenager trapped in a preschooler's body). Meanwhile, The Baby had scampered off to entertain herself in their play area.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw The Baby wedging herself into the footholds to hoist herself atop the slide, and I got nervous. It has not been a good week for us and play equipment. I started off quickly to prevent any mishaps, caught her in time, and turned to see Little Diva glaring at me.

She snarled, "Mom, you should have watched out for that little baby."

I answered with a dazed, "huh?" then realized that I had just overheard one mom saying to another, "oh it's okay, she is used to getting knocked around." Mortification began to set in.

"Um, what do you mean, sweetie? What baby?"

Little Diva answered, "Mom, you knocked over that little girl and didn't even say sorry".

Oh my God! I had committed a toddler hit and run. In my exuberant dash to save The Baby from the perils of playland, I had somehow managed to bowl over an innocent little girl, and I did. not. even. realize. it.

And it was not just any little girl. It was THE LITTLE GIRL, the one who is always dressed in baby couture and six inch bows and flowers on top of her head. Thinking back on it, I have no idea how I could have missed her.

But luckily her mother is quite nice and friendly.

I hurried over sheepishly, and apologized profusely, admitting that it was Little Diva who told me what had happened and that I hadn't even realized what I had done. She was incredibly cool about the whole thing, although I am sure, at first, she was like, "What the Hell, lady, you just ran over my baby and didn't even look back?!"

Of course, who knows how many other moms witnessed the run-in but did not see my return to the scene. I may forever be known as Big, Scary Mom Who Knocks Kids Down and Doesn't Give a Damn. If that is not enough humiliation to keep me grounded for a while, I don't know what is.

What have you done to thoroughly embarrass yourself lately?