Leprechauns

Well, as I do with so many trends, I clearly missed the memo on leprechauns being the new Santa.

When I was a kid, St. Patty's Day was for wearing green and pretending you were Irish so you could get kissed. We sang songs about looking over a four leaf clover, traced oak tag Shamrocks, and ate green cupcakes at school for lunch.

As we grew a little older, we learned about the Blarney Stone and saw filmstrips about Ireland.

Of course, the leprechaun image has always been an integral part of the festivities, but we never really personified the leprechaun much beyond the Lucky Charms commercials.

Now, all of the sudden, it seems like the leprechaun is the rock star bad boy of the holiday circuit.

I'm hearing about leprechauns that are going wild at school, making messes and leaving trails of green glitter in their wakes. Little Diva came home yesterday with a complete lesson on how to make sure you don't get tricked by a leprechaun.

Crafty moms are helping their kids construct elaborate leprechaun traps with gold coins and Lucky Charms for bait. My nephew didn't catch a leprechaun, but instead woke up to find the impish trickster had left him gold dollar coins. Lucky.

I, myself, was unaware of leprechaun-mania and, as such, found myself completely unprepared to stage any leprechaun-themed activities. My bonny lass did not wake to find any trace of a leprechaun encounter.

You know, by the time we get to March, the double whammy of Christmas and Valentine commercialism has done me in. Putting effort into another holiday seems beyond my reach. I had a hard enough time tearing through unopened bags of hand-me-downs just to come up with one sort-of green shirt for Little Diva to wear to school.

I just want to enjoy St. Patrick's Day the way any good American should. With a Shamrock shake for lunch and green beer with dinner. We will have our corned beef next week when I can get it on sale for half the price.

And I'm not buying any stories about leprechauns making the mess at my house. I know exactly who tears my house apart and St. Patrick's Day is just like any other in that way.

The creative moms out there need to come up with a holiday figure that actually cleans all the crap up. For that, I'd be willing to build a trap and eat lucky Charms for a month.