Yes, it's me! As you live and breath, I have seated myself in front of the aging Mac, to scribe a new post. I really figured my absence would go entirely unnoticed, and I am sure, for the most part, it has. But ... I was tickled to learn that one of my readers, who happens to be a family friend (and one with NO KIDS, no less) had a hankering for a new post, so I realized at least somebody out there would be happy to hear from me, so here I go.
And I am not going to dedicate a post to explaining what I have been up to for the last month or so. Mainly because I would like you to stay awake, and also because, truthfully, there is not much to tell. Life has a funny way of getting busy in cycles and my attention span for things like this is pretty short, so sorry to say, my blogging was the first time and energy cutback that I made.
I am also not going to pretend that my hiatus produced a fabulous backlog of witty blog ideas and content. If I did come up with any ideas that I did not have time to blog about, my inability to recall a coherent thought for more than about one nanosecond ensures that I could not remember them anyway.
So instead, I sit here ready to blog about the first thing that pops into my head, and today, that happens to be about how I live vicariously through my children. I can actually put together a nice Top Five list for you of the ways I live out my hopes and dreams via my two little minions. Not sure if it is sweet or pathetic, or maybe a combo of the two, but here goes.
1) Fashion: Let's face it. I just don't look good in clothes anymore. And I am not in touch with adult clothing trends AT ALL. Honestly, until they started showing up in the kid's section of Payless, I thought Gladiators were some kind of shoulder epaulets that were all the rage. I mean, armor on the runway is nothing new, right? So why would I think everyone was so hot on Russell Crowe's footwear? Instead, I channel my inner supermodel, by dressing my girls in the most fabulous clothes I can find. I actually live for the moments that complete strangers stop me on the street to tell me how cute their clothes are. (One lady in a recent poolside encounter even went so far as to ask if she could take a picture of The Baby in her awesome bathing ensemble. Seriously, it was almost like having a run in with the paparazzi!) Superficial? Absolutely, but it's also the only way to express my fashion sense without actually having to outfit myself in the latest looks. I love it! (Plus I know in a few years, I will have NO say in what they wear, so I might as well enjoy it while I can!)
2) Junk food: I mean, really, what self-respecting adult actually buys Cheetos (or Pop Tarts, or Pirates Booty?!) for themselves? (by the way, if you do, I love you for it!!) But have a couple little kids in tow, and no one in the grocery checkout aisle even gives you a second look! And a meal plan that includes Chicken Dino-bites, Mac n Cheese and Pizza once a week each, means I am catering to their tastes, not mine of course!
3) Dancing to cool music: Somehow, if I was downloading Dynamite and Bruno Mars songs for myself to dance to, I would feel a little like a tween-wanna be. If it weren't for my girls, I would probably have to spend all day singing Joni Mitchell and Peter Gabriel songs. Thanks to them, I could actually hold my own in one of those trendy clubs downtown (except for the fact that you generally don't get past the velvet rope wearing elastic waist shorts and Birkenstocks, but a girl can dream)
4) Disney TV: Wizards of Waverly Place, Shake It Up, Good Luck Charlie - yup, I love them all. I just try not to let anyone catch me watching them when Little Diva ISN'T home.
5) Campaigning for Votes: If I remember correctly, I was never elected to student government in middle or high school, and I think it left a void in my psyche. That must be why I am compelled to submit photos for every "Vote for My Kid" contest that floods into my Junk Mail folder. (In fact, if you are interested in voting for Little Diva's latest entry click here - shameless, yes I am!!) I really don't even want a superstar lifestyle for either of them, but the allure of seeing their name in lights gets me every time.
I could probably go on, and on and on! (Oops, there I go humming Dynamite again), but I am pretty sure you got the point.
Thank goodness we get cute kids right around the time we, ourselves, start to go down the toilet. In what ways do you live through your kids?